Thinking About Becoming a Stay-at-Home Mom? Here are 4 things to Consider

Maybe you and your spouse have dreamed of keeping your little ones out of daycare—avoiding the constant colds, daycare fees, and lingering “mom guilt.” Or perhaps you want to take a season to truly invest in your home life, soaking up these fleeting early years with your kids. Whatever your reason, the idea of becoming a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) may feel like a dream come true.

But before you take the leap, there’s more to consider beyond just the financial adjustment. If you’ve already crunched the numbers, let’s talk about the less obvious aspects of transitioning into full-time motherhood. After a year of being home full-time, I’ve reflected on my own experience and broken it down into four key areas:

  • Your Relationship with Your Spouse
  • Daily Routine
  • Mental & Emotional Well-Being
  • Personal & Skill Development

1. Your Relationship with Your Spouse/Partner

Before becoming a SAHM, I thought it would be a breeze compared to running my business. I pictured my days filled with baking, singing, dancing, and endless joy with my kids. And while there are magical moments, let me tell you—some days feel hard and exhausting. (Oh, and when you’re sick? You’re still on duty!)

Your Partner’s Perspective

Here’s the thing: your spouse might think being home all day with the kids sounds amazing—like the best job ever. They may not fully grasp the exhaustion that comes from constantly meeting little ones’ needs. So when you hit a breaking point and express how drained you feel, they might struggle to understand.

That’s why I highly recommend having your spouse watch the kids solo for a full day. It’s the best way for them to experience just how much energy, patience, and mental load go into your role.

Feeling a Lack of Love

If you’ve always placed high value on financial contribution, suddenly not earning an income can be a big identity shift. You might start questioning your value, even feeling unappreciated or unloved by your spouse. I know I did.

I had to remind myself:

  • My husband also feels the pressure of providing.
  • He may express love in ways I didn’t always recognize (like working hard for our family).
  • I needed to clearly communicate when I needed extra affection or encouragement—because, let’s be real, husbands aren’t mind readers!

A simple phrase like “Hey, I need some extra love today” has worked pretty well for us.

Avoiding Resentment

If unspoken frustrations pile up, they can turn into resentment—which can really damage your relationship. You might feel unappreciated for all the work you do at home, while your spouse may wonder, Why can’t she just be happy?

If you’re a woman of faith, you may even find yourself leaning on verses like “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves the church,” using it as a reminder for your spouse to step up. But here’s what I’ve learned:

Yes, our husbands are called to love us, but we’re all responsible for showing love. Instead of demanding affection, I’ve focused on strengthening my relationship with God and taking care of my own well-being. That shift has helped me focus more on what I can control, versus what I can’t.

2. The Reality of a SAHM Daily Routine

The first few weeks of not working were glorious. I loved sleeping in with my kids, making breakfast, and just going with the flow.

But over time, I started craving structure.

Without work setting the pace, my days blurred together. I’d move from one task to the next—feeding, playing, cleaning, repeat. And while my kids had a schedule, I didn’t have one for myself.

How I Structure My Days

I realized that having a loose daily framework makes all the difference. Here’s what works for me:

  • Morning Window (9–10 AM) – I try to wake up before the kids for some quiet time (tea, stretching, reading). Then, I make breakfast and plan activities for the day.
  • Activity Window (11 AM–1 PM) – This is when I make sure my kids burn off energy—whether it’s a park trip, library visit, or indoor playtime.
  • Quiet/Nap Time (2:30–4:30 PM) – My toddler naps while my preschooler has independent play or screen time.
  • Wind Down (5–8 PM) – We prep dinner, tidy up, and spend family time together.
  • Bedtime Routine (9–10:30 PM) – Brushing teeth, reading books, and getting the kids settled for the night.

My Non-Negotiables as a SAHM

As a former business owner, I used to have “must-do” tasks for success. Now, as a SAHM, I apply the same concept:

✔ Daily workout (even if it’s just 10 minutes!)
✔ Eating veggies & high-protein foods (for energy)

I also have a “wish list” of things I’d love to do daily—like writing, practicing gratitude, or calling a friend. But I don’t stress if they don’t happen.

3. Mental & Emotional Well-Being as a SAHM

Let’s be real: Being home all day, every day can be mentally and emotionally draining. You’re constantly managing meals, activities, emotions, and meltdowns.

The key? Mindset.

If you tell yourself that motherhood is overwhelming and exhausting, it will feel that way. But if you shift your mindset to:

💡 “I was made for this. I can learn. I can grow.”

…it changes everything.

I make it a point to surround myself with positive, encouraging content—whether that’s faith-based parenting accounts, supportive mom groups, or uplifting books. Because as moms, we set the tone for our homes.

4. Personal & Skill Development

One of my biggest challenges has been balancing my creative ambition (always dreaming of new projects) with my role as a SAHM.

I have to remind myself: This is a season. My kids won’t be little forever, and I will have more time for my passions down the road.

That said, I’ve still found ways to stay mentally stimulated while being home:

  • Launching my blog (which keeps my writing and marketing skills sharp!)
  • Using the kids nap time to work on passion projects
  • Watching other SAHMs thrive in creative businesses (from blogging to baking to design!)

If you’re considering becoming a SAHM, think about what fuels you—because continuing to develop your skills will help you feel fulfilled.

Final Thoughts: Is Being a Stay-at-Home Mom Right for You?

If you’re still on the fence, ask yourself:

✔ Will my spouse be supportive and truly understand the challenges of being a SAHM?
✔ Can I create a daily routine that provides structure for myself and my kids?
✔ Am I prepared to protect my mental & emotional well-being?
✔ Do I have personal interests or goals that I can nurture during this season?

Becoming a SAHM is a huge life shift. It will stretch you, challenge you, and grow you in ways you never expected. But it can also be an incredibly beautiful and rewarding season of life.

If you’re a stay-at-home mom, what do you wish someone had told you before you made the leap? Or what would you have done differently? Drop a comment below—I’d love to hear your thoughts! 💬👇

So last year was my first FULL year as a Stay at Home Mom (SAHM)
byu/homeremediesok inMotherhoodMedley