What Is Contentment?

It started as a random question that popped into my head early last year. What is contentment? Is it learned? Is it a gift from God? Maybe both? I understand it as being satisfied and feeling fulfilled with what you have, what you’re doing, and who you are becoming. But where does that come from? Why is it that some people seem to be very content with what seems to be not much, yet others have so much, and still don’t really feel satisfied in life? Maybe our heart’s unmet desires is what creates that feeling of a lack of contentment?  I mean, think about it,  if everyday you hold in your mind an idea of  what your life should be like, and it’s not that, well it’s going to probably either push you towards that vision, or crush you into negative feelings because you want to be there now, and maybe you’re lacking some patience and perspective that it’s okay to have seasons of life where you are waiting, working, and enjoying that specific season.

 A famous philosopher, Epicurus talks about three different types of desires: natural and necessary desires, natural but unnecessary desires, and “vain and empty” desires. I think in the western world, most of our desires, if we were to be very honest with ourselves, fall into the vain and empty desires. Meaning they lack a genuine purpose and are not in alignment with God’s plan for our lives. It’s no wonder why so many people feel unfulfilled and lack that feeling of genuine contentment. Maybe their desires are not the “right” desires to begin with! The topic of our “desires” themselves is an interesting one and worth exploring. Especially if you feel unsure of what you want in life. 

I remember a time in my mid 20’s where I would frequently ask myself “what do I want” as if it was something that really really needed to be answered. The question is tricky because it gets you thinking of materialistic things or more experiences to be had. If you pose the question differently like “what do I want my life to look like” that can be a very powerful question. I think at that time in my life, the more clarifying question I should have been asking is “who am I? or “What type of Person do I want to become?” I think asking that type of question is very grounding, and can help you get to a centered place, which often times brings about a sense of contentment on its own.

Much of 2023 for me was pondering what contentment really is, and how I can live a life filled with more peace, joy and of course – contentment. One thing I realized that acts as a precursor to contentment is surrender. 

During this time I would pray “God please give me the desires of my heart, make it so that my desires are in line with the Will you have for me” , and I took on a posture of complete surrender. All of a sudden I wanted nothing to do with the sales world that I was in for over a decade or running my business. In fact I would sit there and dream about not working at all. I would day dream about spending slow mornings with my son, and soon to be daughter, playing in the yard, working on my garden and creating a beautiful home for our family. The thought of sitting on another zoom call or an in person meeting with a potential client just made me sick. And it’s funny because those same things used to motivate and excite me! I would share these new found desires with my business coach and business colleagues and they would just try and get me to incorporate those new desires into my day while still doing the sales. Good advice for someone who is just going through a little bit of the entrepreneur blues, but not for someone who is experiencing a major SHIFT in seasons, values, and overall lifestyle.

Surrendering to God in all aspects of life. My thoughts about myself, my thoughts about what my future will hold, what my past was, and of course, surrendering my will to that of God’s will for me. And once I fully understood the depths of the meaning of the word surrender (and I’m still learning and practicing this daily), it actually just felt like Letting go. Letting go of my direction and thoughts on what “success” or fulfillment are like, and deciding that God’s way of contentment, peace and joy are better. And I can tell you, even though I’ve been a Christian, and gave my life to Jesus at the age of 13, now 33, these words take on different weight and meaning, especially after I examine them against how I was actually living, and comparing them to God’s ways, and then being startled at how closely my way was resembling that of what the world/our society offers and tells us success is “do more, Hustle, manifest this or that, just believe hard enough and you can have it all.” 

Like, hold up, I actually don’t want it all, I just want what’s right for me. And I actually don’t want to hustle so hard…right now… 

SO I made a tough choice. I made the choice to leave behind my business. Something I had worked 10 years in. But I knew it was the right move.

I left during a time when we really weren’t sure if my husband can get enough remodeling jobs lined up to cover our mortgages, and left right before having a baby with no insurance! 

The crazy thing is, it felt amazing. It felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I put my faith in God to provide for our family, AND for the first time in 10 years of being the sole provider for our family (as far as consistent cash flow goes) I learned to trust my husband, but more importantly God, to provide in that area of our life. 

Our house that we built to sell eventually sold, and amazingly, each month that went by God provided. Money would just show up, from someone saying “oh hey I actually oh you this money”, to getting a check in the mail because we had overpaid on taxes, and then forgetting that when I had left the corporate side of my job a few years back, I had totally spaced about a matching 401K fund 😉 (prego brain was in full swing at the time). 

My point is that contentment, I believe, is something you learn after having lived enough life. AND I believe it is truly a gift from God once we have experienced fully surrendering to His plan for us. 

One verse I LOVE that pertains to contentment: 

Paul says in Philippians 4:11-13 New International Version (NIV) “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

Another good one: 1 Timothy 6:6

“Now godliness with contentment is great gain”

So ya, those are my thoughts on Contentment. I am so glad that the Holy Spirit put a desire for surrender and content on my heart. It has radically changed the way I start each day, the way I view my life, and my future. What do you think? How has a lack of contentment in your life affected you? What do you think brings about true contentment?