The Truth About Privilege: Embracing Motherhood

Have you ever been in a conversation where someone abruptly says, “Well, you should know you’re so privileged to stay at home with your kids”? They say it with such negativity, almost as if to shame you for your choice. It’s frustrating, and frankly, it shows a lack of understanding.

Think about it: they know nothing about your background or the sacrifices that led to your decision. This attitude not only disrespects stay-at-home moms but also reveals a broader societal bias against traditional family roles. It’s amusing to see how reactions shift based on family dynamics. If a mom is married to a stay-at-home dad, suddenly it’s accepted, yet a mom staying home often faces scrutiny.

Whenever I scroll through comments on posts about motherhood—especially those about stay-at-home moms—I inevitably see someone proclaiming, “You’re so privileged.” But let’s take a moment to unpack that word.

Originally, “privilege” referred to special laws or exemptions granted to certain individuals, often the elite. It also means honor—an HONOR to do something. When did we start using it as a tool for shaming others?

It is indeed a privilege and an honor to stay home, raise your children, and manage your household. Yes, it often means sacrificing a family’s income—unless your partner is financially secure, or maybe you worked before having kids, like I did. At the end of the day, no one owes an explanation for their choice to stay home.

If you find yourself feeling envious of another mom’s “privilege” to stay home, take a moment for self-reflection. Do you enjoy your job? Are you secretly yearning for that stay-at-home lifestyle? Maybe you believe your household can’t survive on one income. It’s time to reevaluate your values and what your ideal life looks like right now. Can you afford to live off one income?

Consider having a heartfelt conversation with your partner about your desires. With some planning and sacrifices, living the life you dream of could be within reach.

Every stay-at-home mom I know has intentionally chosen this path and often finds creative ways to contribute financially if she wants to.

So, if you’re a stay-at-home mom reading this, remember: it is an absolute HONOR and privilege to raise your kids and run your household well. Don’t let anyone hijack that term out of ignorance or an attempt to shame you.

This word also seems to create divisions, much like its historical roots. Today, the narrative often pits “working moms” against “stay-at-home moms,” but the reality is far more nuanced. Influencers sometimes stir the pot for engagement, but let’s not forget that running a social media account takes time and attention away from kids and home life.

Looking at my friends who aren’t working a standard 9-to-5, most of them juggle multiple side hustles—whether flipping furniture, selling products, or even launching their businesses. Regardless of how a mom chooses to spend her time at home, it shouldn’t matter if she works for pay. After all, managing a household is labor, and studies show that being a stay-at-home parent can actually save families money. Check out this insightful article on the value of stay-at-home parents: Forbes.

Interestingly, stay-at-home dads are rarely subject to the same scrutiny. They are often celebrated. Sometimes it simply makes more sense for the woman to keep working if she has the higher-paying job, totally understandable.

Can we please return to celebrating motherhood in all its beautiful forms? It’s different from fatherhood, and those differences deserve recognition.

Let’s reclaim the term “privilege” and stop using it negatively. (Ever heard someone say, “I know, I know, I’m so privileged to stay home with them”?) Ultimately, we all have the power to create the lifestyle we desire, and that, my friends, is a privilege we all share. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

What do you think about the use of the word “privilege” in this context? Do you feel it’s often used negatively? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!